If you’re seeking another sort of interaction, maybe it’s not the place you should expect it. If you want to jump straight in, just do it. I also think it’s a good thing that there’s no beating around the bush. It’s an app for hook-ups and sex, mostly that’s what you get out of it. There’s no need to be pretentious and pretend that it’s something that it’s not. “Grindr is a meat market and that’s its base level function. Here, you can read their stories – a glimpse into the trials and tribulations of using Grindr. To investigate further, I met with six gay men who use the app (of different ages, races, and size) in their personal spaces, accompanied by photographer Dexter Lander who shot them in various states of undress. Last year, the app launched the Kindr initiative, promising to eradicate any vitriol, yet, I come across multiple accounts a day making jokes of the new pronouns section – introduced to make non-cisgender users feel more welcome. Like many others, I’ve found myself deleting the app numerous times since first downloading when I feel the strain on my mental health. Grindr is a necessary evil, despite being a double-edged sword. Though it’s impossible to link the two, it can’t be healthy for those at risk from mental health problems to be at the receiving end of abuse, sometimes on a daily basis. The painful irony of our community being ostracised, only to then turn on each other is not lost on me, but seemingly lost on the masc4masc bros who take glee in pointing out everything they deem wrong with me.Ī report by Stonewall last year found that 52 per cent of LGBTQ+ people had experienced depression in 2018. I have hundreds ( hundreds) of screenshots just like this, of encounters with men who simply don’t like me for the way I am. On one instance, I remember being excited to visit a friend in Cheshire and see what the talent was, only to be greeted by a message that said: “I’ve always wanted to see what a monkey’s dick looked like.” It’s not uncommon (without even messaging) to receive messages called me a n*gger, or telling me I have AIDS, or to go back to my own country. A less subtle way this is communicated is by the term ‘no rice, no spice’. Another term popularly used is ‘No fats, no fems, no Asians’ – letting users know they’re not interested in anybody who isn’t skinny/muscular, ‘masc’, and white. As a person of colour I’m often bombarded with profiles that proclaim ‘WHITES ONLY’ or ‘NO BLACKS’. On the other hand though, it has opened me up to a world of abuse on a level I’ve not encountered since I was bullied at school. I remember being greeted by one message that said: ‘I’ve always wanted to see what a monkey’s dick looked like’” “It’s not uncommon on Grindr to receive messages calling me a n*gger, or telling me I have AIDS, or to go back to my own country.
I’ve made lifelong friends on the app, as well as sexual conquests (both good and bad). On one hand, it has been a useful tool when travelling alone for tips from locals and a chance to meet new people. Over the years though, I’ve come to have a love/hate relationship with it. What I do remember is thinking to myself: ‘This is the best thing to ever be invented’.
The popular gay social media app created in 2009 that let’s you know who your nearest homosexuals are (on the app), with the aim of connecting gay men to chat, date, or its most widely-used objective – to hook-up.Īs a late bloomer, I distinctly remember downloading Grindr the first time, although I don’t remember how I found out about it. There’s a beacon of hope – or rather, a dim orange glow – for those looking for a connection, in the form of Grindr.
The queer experience is often so isolating, that even for those with a strong support network, the fear of being cast out by the ones we love is overwhelming. Though, right now in places like Chechnya and Brazil, the status of homosexuality by proxy leaves you vulnerable and in danger – simply for just existing. Growing up gay, wherever you are, is difficult. With photo stories shot in Tokyo, India, New York, and London and in-depth features exploring mental health, older bodybuilders, and myths around masculinity – we present all the ways people around the world are redefining traditional tropes. Welcome to Behind The Masc: Rethinking Masculinity, a campaign dedicated to exploring what ‘masculinity’ means in 2019.